Golf And Bingo Are Relatives! | GolfGearReview.com

Golf And Bingo Are Relatives!
Andrew Penner

I didn’t go quietly. After realizing that I was just moments away from my scheduled volunteer appearance at the God-forsaken Bingo hall, I started, quite understandably, thinking up excuses to get out of it. But finally, kicking violently with fingernails clawing and scratching the door, my wife slugged me out of the house and sentenced me to the hall. I was to serve time to benefit my boy’s baseball team. But, alas, what started as embittered combat turned into an educational experience. I learned that golf and bingo are close relatives – brothers in the world of recreation.

I had always thought that there is no game quite like golf. Recreating on the links is, generally speaking, a one-of-a-kind experience. But my educational foray to the Bingo hall left me with the realization that golf has some very close relatives. In fact, it sent a shiver down my spine when I learned just how close these two pastimes are to one another. For example…

1. Golf and Bingo both originated in Europe in the 16th century

Contrary to the popular notion that Bingo originated by a group of overweight chain-smokers in a trailer park outside of Lincoln, Nebraska, research shows that this game actually started in Europe (likely Italy) in the 16th century. Golf, of course, was born in Europe around the same time.

2. Golf and Bingo both rely on the beverage cart to keep players refreshed and fully hydrated

The only difference in Bingo is that, instead of negotiating the lush, green fairways, beverage carts must zip between the rows of tables – and avoid crashing into cadavers that have succumbed to lung cancer and emphysema.

3. You can excel at both games while simultaneously working your way through a carton of cigarettes

Although it’s not quite a prerequisite to playing good bingo, going in armed with six or seven packs appears to be proper etiquette. While the smoker rate isn’t quite 100% in golf, as it is in Bingo, golfers can also enjoy a few puffs and still excel at the game.

4. Submitting an incorrect scorecard gets you disqualified in both games

In both games, mistakes on the scorecard are not dealt with sympathetically. In some bingo halls, for example, cheaters have been known to get bombarded with ashtrays and phlegm balls.

5. Both Games Use Nicknames For Various Scores

In golf, for example, we have “hockey sticks” (77), snowman (8), and so on. In Bingo, you’ve got your “legs eleven” (11), “clicketty-click” (66), and “two fat ladies” (88) – which seems particularly surprising when you consider that 95% of the players involved in any given bingo game could take personal offense.

So I left the bingo hall educated, enlightened, and edified…and thoroughly convinced that the next time I had an opportunity to return to such a place I would have to put up a much, much greater fight…and go golfing instead.

Andrew Penner is a 12-year member of the Canadian PGA. He has won five professional golf tournaments in Canada and narrowly, I mean narrowly, missed qualifying for the US Open last year. Well, OK, it was a few shots. Andrew writes for a number of golf magazines in Canada, the US, and Europe. His new book, titled "One Flew Over The Caddyshack," can be ordered at www.falconpress.ca. He can be reached at andpenner@shaw.ca.