These are all numbered 1 on purpose

1. men are not mind readers
1.learn to work the toilet seat.
you're a big girl. if it's up, put it down
you don't hear us complain when it's down
1. sunday sports are like a full moon or changing of the tides, let it be
1. crying is blackmail
1. ask for what you want
subtle hints don't work
strong hints don't work
obvious hints don't work
just say it
1. yes and no are acceptable answers to almost any question
1. come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it,
that's what we do, sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1. anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after
7 days
1. if you think you're fat, you probably are. don't ask us
1. you can ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. if you know how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we
1. men see in 16 colors, like windows default. peach is a fruit, not a color
pumpkin is also a fruit. we have no idea what MUAVE is
1. if it itches, we will scratch it
1. if we ask, what is wrong?, and you say "nothing" we will believe you and move on, it's not worth the hassle
1. if you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1. when we go out, anything you wear looks FINE, REALLY
1. don't ask us what we are thinking, unless you want to discuss baseball, golf, or fishing
1. you have enough clothes
1. you have too many shoes
1. I am in shape. round is a shape


thank you for reading this. yes I know most of us will be sleeping on the couch tonight , but that's okay, it's like camping. which relates to fishing which is also a sport.

GET THE PICTURE

LOL!

That's a classic.. I got one today that was about what little kids think of marriage, it was hilarious. Wish I could find it, I'd post it here..

Kids and Marriage
Is this the one you received?.
________________________________________
HOW DOES A PERSON DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Allan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10

CONCERNING THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!" Cam, age 10
"No age is good to get married at... You got to be a fool to get married!" Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette, age 8
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE TURNING SOUR?"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?"When they're rich!" Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them... It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing... I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out!" Theodore, age 8
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" Anita, age 9
"Single is better... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change diapers... Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." Kirsten, age 10

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR A YOUNG COUPLE ABOUT TO BE MARRIED?"The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngings... I got something to say to you. Why in the heck do you wanna get married, anyway?'" Craig, age 9

WHAT PROMISES DO A MAN AND A WOMAN MAKE WHEN THEY GET MARRIED?"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." Marion, age 10

HOW TO MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" Ricky, age 7
"If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes... Especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it." Lori, age 8

GETTING MARRIED FOR A SECOND TIME

"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than one to find a live one." Angie L., age 10

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8
"You can be sure of one thing -- the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now!" Roberta, age 7

Yes, that's it! Thanks Bo!