I started playing golf with some college buddies in April 2008. Since that time, I've progressed at a faster pace than they have - even though my handicap is high(25), I generally beat them by about 6 strokes per 9 holes. We all have different skills and really enjoy each other's company, but they talk a lot - coaching each other on the course, even giving me advice even though I always have the lowest score.

I've noticed that I've started improving by playing with other guys who are better than I am, and I've started "playing down" to my pals when we're together. I'm afraid that my game will stagnate with my pals... Should I stop playing with them, and if so, how (or should) do I tell them without hurting their feelings?

I hope I don’t give the impression that I am competing with anyone personally - I am really not good enough to do that... But it's tough sometimes when you're playing and (I guess this happens more with often beginners like myself) you'll hit a bad shot you weren't expecting and your partners immediately start giving you their opinion of your swing, club selection, etc.

Maybe it's more an etiquette thing than anything else. I do know that when that happens, I tend to get ticked off and that's when my game goes to crap. Who knows, maybe it's a gamesmanship thing. I don't usually say anything though, and the dilemma becomes either (1) ignore them and concentrate on the game (and look like an unsociable jerk) or (2) tell them to shut the hell up (and look like a general jerk) or (3) keep my mouth shut (and risk playing like crap and not having a good time).

Another pal of mine suggested that I challenge them to a golf game like Fairways & Greens for a quarter (each) per hole, with the added rule of no coaching/comments. That would lead them to not say anything at all, since anything they say could end up costing them money. That may be a good idea - anyone have any others?

Admiral, the first thing you want to ask yourself is whether or not your golf game is more important to you than your friends.
I'm going to guess the answer is no.
You are correct that you will improve at a more rapid rate if you always play with people better than you.
Well, this begs a question ???????? Do the better players wish they weren't playing with you so they could improve?
I think the best thing is to get a playing balance going. Play as often as you can with better players and stay with your buds as often as possible. But try not make golf with your friends a real serious deal and always have a fun day.
From an etiquette point of view it would be cool if you all made an agreement with each other. "No suggestions or tips on the course unless someone asks."
Unless you are planning to qualify at players school and support yourself and your family on tour, there is no golf game worth leaving your life long friends over.

You might want to just ask all your friends to not make suggentions about your game during a round. If they have something they think will help your game, ask them to save it for the practice session, when you have the time to WORK on it.

If you haven't asked before, what Don is suggesting might work, however, I think with friends, especially buddies, asking may not help. If everyone makes an agreement not to do it, it might work. In fact, make an agreement not to give advice on the course unless asked and everytime someone breaks the rule, put 5 bucks in a party jar and you can all have a "Bud" & be "Weiser."

I tend to agree with Bill. But the group of guys I play with do a pretty good job of not offering suggestions so it works well. Sometimes someone will ask "what did I do? " or "Did you see anything?" but usually talk is about non-instruction stuff. If someone does start offering lots of help I usually butt in and say "...but remember all that stuff is for the range...once you're on the course you dance with what brung ya!"

It can get annoying if they continually offer advice.

And I understand the issue of playing down to your partners. I have seen that too, partly because it's easy to get distracted especially when people don't have great etiquette. You just have to learn to focus better on your game.

But i'd keep the friends and find other opportunity to play outside the group as well.

Good answers to the dilemma, and I'll just add that it is true that you will improve by playing with people who are better than you. I'm one who has a terrible round if I get put in a group with someone with awful pace of play or manners. Just too easily distracted, I guess.

Great feedback, guys. I appreciate it... I'm going to try each suggestion, especially working on getting more focused. I've been playing par 3s after work with talk radio in my headphones. It's definitely helping me learn to block out the noise/things that make me crazy...

You might want to wear the same headset when you are playing with your talking friends. Maybe they will get the hint after a round or so.

Update: Played 9 holes yesterday... Hit 4 of 6 fairways and shot par on 3 of the first 4. No unwanted tips/swing commentary, and by the 5th hole everybody wanted to talk about basketball... perfect day!

Sounds like things are progressing with your buds.
Now what happens when you and your friends hit the gym to shoot a few hoops?

Did someone mention Basketball? Did you see that the Denver Nuggets whooped butt on the L.A Lakers last night. 120 to 101. This was the first game that wasn't decided by a point or two right to the end.

Last Thursday I played with my college buddies in a league round (first week)... On the first tee I teed off first and hit the missed the fairway by about a foot. The worst (commentating) offender said, "Not bad - what club did you use?"

I said, "Do you really want to give up 2 strokes this early?" Another guy in our foursome (we didn't know him) chuckled and said, "Yup - Rule 8-1."

Didn't hear a peep after that... won the round by 5 strokes. Awesome.

That's a good answer!

Nice!

That is classic. I like your answer.

Sounds like the Admiral has come up with a good way to shut up his playing partners and still remain on friendly terms with them. Just not SPEAKING TERMS, as it were.

So how many of you play with complete strangers? Me, almost always. I play so often (weekly) that I just go up as a single and ask the starter to pair me with whoever, I don't care. Have met some really neat people that way. But it's so funny because most of my friends would NEVER play with someone else. Hell, they'd never go to the course without at least a 3some let alone by themselves. Me, I'm there whenever I can get there and it's usually by myself half the time. Met some nice people, some that I play with more regularly now than I do my friends....

It's rare that I go out to play as part of a foursome, so most of the time, I get paired up with one or two others that I've never met. Sometimes we get paired up with really nice golfers, and other times it would have been nicer to be playing as a twosome instead.

Since my husband and I book as a twosome, we get paired up. Rarely on a weekday will we be able to play just the two of us. Since many people have "preferred" times to play, we find ourselves playing with some of the same people over the course of the summer. We've made friends with some of the people we've been paired with. When I was first learning to play I'd often go out by myself because none of my friends/family played. I was always surprised at how many people say they couldn't even think of playing with strangers.

When I play at my home course I usually play with someone I know but I have been playing there for a while so I know lot of the people. When I go to the private course I play at I am a guest so am always in a foursome of people I know. I play new courses at least once a week and almost always go alone or with my wife. So I am meet new people all the time. I think it is one of the best things about playing. About a year ago I played with a husband wife twosome we have been great friends ever since. We joined a wine party that they do every month and have met a lot of new people through them. I really do believe that you meet the nicest people on the golf course.

If you want your golf game to improve, then yes, you'll have to play with other people. If you want to spend time with your friends, but aren't enjoying your time on the green, maybe it's time to find something different to do with them. Like Bill said; what's more important, your friends or your golf game? Your decision will reflect your answer.

If you still want to stay friends with them I'd play
golf with them sometimes. If you have a handicap of 25 that's a long way from pro level.

Update: I've really diversified my golfing partners, adding guys/gals who are better than I am (and following Rule 8-1) and trying my best to keep up. My handicap dropped 5 points over the season, and I birdied my first par 4 this weekend.

My "regular" golfing pals were in a league together this summer but usually didn't play together in the same foursome (with traffic, we don't arrive at the same time); just on weekends on different courses. I won my division (2nd season) of the league and have lots more fun on weekends...

I didn't meet all of my goals for the season, but did well enough. Now if I can get rid of this WICKED hook that's snuck into my driver, I'd be very happy... but oh well. In the meantime, I pull out my 6 iron, ignore the snickers, and put it on the fairway...

Admiral, that's some good progress, congrats!