1 No matter how bad your last shot was the worst is yet to come. This law is extended over a lifetime of golf.

2. Your best round of golf will be followed shortly by the worst round ever so keep your money in your pocket.

3. New golf balls are water magnetic. The more expensive the ball the stronger the attraction.

4. Golf balls are not suposed to bounce back into the fairway once they hit a tree. If yours does it is the tree breaking the law of the universe and needs to be chopped down

5. No matter what caused you to miss your shot your playing partners will be drawn to say you looked up.

6. The higher the golfers handicap the more he will think he is qualified to instruct. After all he knows all the mistakes.

7. Every par 3 hole is designed to humiliate the golfer and the shorter the hole the better the design. Even the worlds best golfer is even par on 3's.

8. All palm trees eat golf balls.

9. If a golf cart is going to run out of gas it will be at the farthest point from the club house.

10. All drivers are demon possesed so if yours is behaving it is just waiting for the perfect time to get you.

11. Golf balls from the same sleve tend to follow each other.

12. Golf should be given up at least twice a month.

I know there was more to this joke but this is all I remember. Feel free to add to it.

Thanks John. There's some funny ones in that list. Of course there is the classic "A bad day at golf is always better than a good day at work." - I think that was or is someone's sig line in here - so true.

That is so true.

I do believe that #6 on this list is my favorite. I have noticed that the worst golfers seem to be the best at giving advice. Six is followed closely by #3 and #4.