I was playing yesterday with three other ladies that have played a lot more than I. Two got into a bit of an argument over whether it counts as a stroke when you swing but totally miss the ball. One lady had a particularly hard time with one shot and missed the ball completely three times. Someone tell me if it counts or not?

Yes, it counts. If her intent was to swing AND make contact to advance the ball then yes, it counts. Just think of it as a really bad swing. Had she just nicked the ball and it went 2 feet, it would have counted, been a bad swing but counted. The swing-and-a-miss is no different. Her intent was to advance the ball, she just did a terrible job of it, and it counts. If her intent was to make a practice swing and not attempt to advance the ball, the no it would not count.

Now, what people do in their own little social outings is another thing. By the USGA rules, yes it counts, but routinely social outings among friends, it can be overlooked. When my friends do it, I tell them "I'll put down whatever score you want. But you're only cheatin' yourself if you don't count 'em all!"

That's always the joke when someone "whiffs" - we laugh and say "practice swing"!
However, Scott is correct, if you are playing "by the rules" it still counts as a stroke (or 3).

When I started playing golf in high school about 15 years ago, I hated when my friends played by the rules and counted those huge misses! But now that the years have passed I completely understand that it's part of the game. If you swing in baseball it's a strike right?

I'm lucky enough to have friends who don't follow those rules. It only counts if you actually touch the ball and make it move. Just like in pool. Of course the real rules are yes it does count. Just like srushing said, if you are trying to hit the ball, it's counted as a swing.
I am not a professional and I don't play with professionals either, we don't count them.
How close were the 2 in score? I bet close if the one wanted the other to count a "practice swing".

I do not mind, if people play their social rounds on their own rules, as long as they don't affect the play of others.
But I hat it,
- when People, playing that kind of »golf« boast later in the clubhouse of their 80 os 90 strokes round and
- when I meet these people in a competition and learn, that they regard the strict appliance of the rules of golf as unsportsmanlike.

McFade