Trust me, myriad of challenges ahead for Mickelsons
Mike Dudurich
Posted 2009-05-27
The news, shocking and disheartening, grabbed national and international headlines last week.
Golf’s most prominent couple had been broadsided by one of life’s most difficult challenges.
On May 20, it was announced Amy Mickelson had been diagnosed with breast cancer. After an extensive battery of tests, it was determined treatment would begin within the next few weeks. Her first stop; major surgery. Her husband would suspend his play on the PGA tour indefinitely.
Now, on the surface, Phil and I don’t have much in common -- unless you consider the fact that he plays golf and I cover it.
However, the cancer word can be a great equalizer. And both he and I now know the devastation associated with that one word.
In May 2006, we learned my wife, Ann (a non-smoker), was diagnosed with lung cancer. Like Amy, she had surgery. Actually, she had two surgical procedures, along with several rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. But, despite an aggressive treatment plan, the vicious disease simply won't let go.
The exact path for Amy won’t be immediately known. But we sincerely hope her surgery will be successful and the 37-year-old will be able to get back to raising her three children. And Phil can get back to playing golf -- something that doesn't seem very important at the moment.
Do Phil and I part company with a cancer diagnosis? Not exactly.
In March 2003, while giving birth to their youngest child, Evan, Amy’s uterus ruptured and she was in danger of bleeding to death. Fortunately, an on-call surgeon was able to rush to the hospital and save her life. Worse, doctors had to resuscitate Evan, who suffered trauma during the birth and didn’t breathe for several minutes.
Nearly 15 years earlier, Ann was pregnant with our daughter, Cassie. One afternoon, she was hit with horrific pains. We rushed to the hospital, where it was discovered the placenta had torn away from her uterus. Doctors performed an emergency C-section -- one in which the doc later told me both mother and daughter could have been lost. He called Cassie a "Miracle Baby."
I can't say I'm surprised to hear Mickelson, a two-time winner in 2009 and a three-time major champion, had suspended his playing schedule indefinitely. The possibility certainly exists that Mickelson will not participate in the U.S. Open June 18-21 at Bethpage Black in New York. He was runnerup to Tiger Woods there in 2002 and has been anointed as New York’s favorite.
Unlike the No. 2-ranked player in the world, I wasn’t able to suspend my career. (Millions earned as a result of 36 tournaments won help Mickelson in that regard!)
The big lefthander will learn in the upcoming months and years what I’ve already experienced. Having a wife literally fighting for her life is not only a life-changing occurrence for her, it rocks the world of the spouse as well. Phil is going to learn how helpless and insignificant a spouse can feel. Emotions run high, nerves are on edge and I’ll bet he’ll wish he could trade places with Amy as many times as I did with Ann.
He’ll learn to be a caregiver, a support giver, a friendly set of ears and will no doubt get the same sage advice that I did early in the process: “You need to keep her positive. Keep her out of negative situations. A positive attitude can go a long way toward beating this.” They are the words I’ve tried to live by since 2006.
And that’s where Phil and I part company a bit. There are probably few more positive guys in the world than Phil Mickelson. Remember him smiling and saying what a great time he had in losing the 2002 U.S. Open to Tiger Woods … again????
I’m not nearly as positive as he seems to be. Blame it on decades of being a newspaper guy, where cynicism is as much a part of your existence as the daily high-octane coffee.
But you learn to be more positive in that support role because every day is a new challenge. We’ve done pretty well in that regard, having just past three years since the original diagnosis. Not that there aren’t scary moments, moments that leave you on pins and needles waiting for a phone call or a test result.
Amy Mickelson put a blog item on her husband’s website (www.philmickelson.com):
“So many of you who have been diagnosed with cancer, or have experienced it with a family member or friend, know this has been an extremely difficult time. We are getting A LOT of information and making decisions that are both extremely overwhelming and important.
"We want to extend our gratitude and appreciation to everyone who has reached out to us. It is very comforting to feel so much support and encouragement. Your stories, prayers and best wishes are overwhelming, in a good way, and really getting us through this very tough period. Know that our whole family deeply appreciates that we don't have to go through this alone.”
The Mickelsons will find out as they take this tough trip that family and friends will become a wonderful support system. And as golf’s headliner couple, they’ll have the good wishes, thoughts and prayers of millions of golf fans across the world.
Speaking from experience, they’ll need all of that and more.
This is definitely a journey best not taken alone.
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About Mike...
As a sports writer for over 35 years, Mike Dudurich has seen a lot of great things, covered spectacular events, but his passion is, and has been golf.
He recently ended a 29-year career at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review and will now be a frequent contributor on GolfGearReview.com.
Mike hosts a weekly golf radio show on 1250 ESPN in Pittsburgh from the beginning of April through the end of August.
The show airs Saturdays from 8-9 a.m. and can be heard online at http://stations.espn.go.com/stations/espnradio1250/show?showId=insidepghgolf - Listen to Mike Here!.
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